Can you sing Drunk?
by ShikiSenri5494
Summary: This is just something funny that I thought would be good to write up since I've seen way too many Naruto fanflashes XD
1. Chapter 1: Akatsuki

A/n: I would first like to say that I don't own anything and the fact that this is going to be a crack! Akatuski. It will be Lilly [My Oc], Itachi, Kisame, Diedara, Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu, Pien, Konan, and Tobi! Every chapter will be a different person.

First up we shall do a song for everyone to sing!  
-Story start-  
It starts off with a gathering of everyone in the Akatsuki, Pien walked up in front of everyone to get their attention.

"As of today we will be taking a break due to the fact that Lilly has made an offering to me that I will not give up." Pien said as he motioned for her to get up

She did and she smiled at everyone. "Well, as of now You guys are on break until I finish up my project that will help us catch the demon fox. I just need all of you to stay out of my way until I am done."

"So, we just need to stay here right?" Hidan asked

"Correct, Now I have already set up things for you all to eat in the next room if you ever get hungary and I also bought drinks for everyone...Just do over do it." She said with a grin

most of them cheered, then with that they all talked among themselves as they drank Saki, In the midst of them drinking Tobi thought that it would be a cool idea to take out the old Kareoke machine and sing. So that's what they did. first they didn't a song together which was this:  
[Salior song by Toybox]

"So if we all come together, we know what to do We all come together, just to sing we love you And if we all come together, we know what to do We all come together just for you" They all sang

"Racing all around the seven seas Chasing all the girls and making robberies 'Causing panic everywhere they go Party-hardy on Titanic" Itachi sang

"Sailing, sailing, jumping off the railing Drinking, drinking 'till the ship is sinking Gambling, stealing, lots of sex-appealing" Kisame sang "Come, let us sing the sailor-song" Itachi sang

"So if we all come together, we know what to do We all come together, just to sing we love you And if we all come together, we know what to do We all come together just for you" they all sang

"Sailorman, you really turn me on Now the guys are gone, come and let us get it on Girls like me are pritty hard to find So if you go, I'll kick your Heine" Diedara and Sasori sang

"Sailing, sailing, jumping off the railing Drinking, drinking 'till the ship is sinking Gambling, stealing, lots of sex-appealing" Zetsu sang "Come, let us sing the sailor-song" Deidara sang

"So if we all come together, we know what to do We all come together, just to sing we love you And if we all come together, we know what to do We all come together just for you" They all sang

Now, let's fight!-Itachi Ha, that's not a knife, this is a knife! -Kisame AI!-Itachi

"Sailing, sailing, jumping off the railing Drinking, drinking 'till the ship is sinking Gambling, stealing, lots of sex-appealing Come, let us sing the sailor-song"Pein

"So if we all come together, we know what to do We all come together, just to sing we love you And if we all come together, we know what to do We all come together just for you" Konan

I'm king of the world!-pien Wow, this was great!-Konan Yeah, baby, you can sail my ship-Pien

"And if we all come together, we know what to do We all come together just for you " They all sang

After that they looked to each other.

"Who should go first?" Diedara asked

"How about Itachi?" hidan suggested

"I don't have a problem with it." Itachi said dully 


	2. Chapter 2: Itachi

A/n: I don't own anything and I hope I get something out of anyone whom reads this. The song I felt was the right one for him for a crack story, It's seriously funny. So enjoy!

Itachi looked through the Cd's that were out and he didn't really care so he told Tobi to pick a Song for him. So Tobi picked one that he thought would be funny for him to sing. once the song was placed on he Glared at Tobi only to brush it off when he had to sing.

[Superstar by Toybox]

"I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car I am a superstar and i dont care who you are I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car I am a superstar and i dont care who you are

(Superstar!)-Tobi

Got Many money Honey, Im a superstar My life is funny honey, Have you seen my car?  
I know alot of people, Im a superstar Everybody know me, right from near to far

I got a plane (got a plane)-Kisame I love the fame (love the fame)-Kisame You know my name (know my name)-Kisame And i just want you to know

I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car I am a superstar and i dont care who you are I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car I am a superstar and i dont care who you are

(Superstar!)-tobi

Ive got a red Ferrari, Im a superstar I really like to party, Am i cool or what?  
I love alot of women, Im a superstar Stars got a freaky living, thats the way we are

I got a plane (got a plane)-Kisame I love the fame (Love the fame)-Kisame You know my name (know my name)-Kisame And i just want you to know

I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car I am a superstar and i dont care who you are I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car I am a superstar and i dont care who you are

(Superstar!)-Tobi

I got fortune i got fame Love it when you say my name Love to party I am naughty Prettier than everybody!

'I got muscles Im a stud Jealous people kiss my butt Im so fly ill make you cry Cross my heart and hope to die' Kisame sang

I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car I am a superstar and i dont care who you are I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car I am a superstar and i dont care who you are I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car I am a superstar and i dont care who you are I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car I am a superstar and i dont care who you are" Itachi sang

After the song was over with itachi glared even more at Tobi before Kisame held him back.

"He isn't worth it." Kisame said having one of his hands on itachi's shoulder.

Itachi looked to Kisame before he calmed himself. "Fine, but you're going next."

"C'mon do I have to?" Kisame asked

"Yes, because no one else will just yet." Diedara said just coming back from the other room

"Dude, why the fuck do you smell like Lilly?" Hidan asked

"Its because I went to check on her, I don't like the fact that she's alone outside. Un" Deidara said crossing his arms

"Fine, Well now I Believe that its Kisame turn." Pien said calming them all down 


	3. Chapter 3: Kisame

A/n: I don't own anything and I hope I get something out of anyone whom reads this. The song I felt was the right one for him for a crack story,Its the only damn song I've seen for Kisame : P

"Can Tobi pick your song Kisame?" Tobi asked

"Fine, but you pick something utterly stupid I swear I'll let Itachi kill you." Kisame said

"Yay!" Tobi said before he chose something for kisame

"yo listen up here's a story  
about a little guy that lives in a blue world  
and all day and all night and everything he sees  
is just blue like him inside and outside  
blue his house with a blue little window  
and a blue corvette  
and everything is blue for him and hisself  
and everybody around  
cos he ain't got nobody to listen to

i'm blue da ba dee da ba die...

i have a blue house with a blue window.  
blue is the colour of all that i wear.  
blue are the streets and all the trees are blue.  
i have a girlfriend and she is so blue.  
blue are the people here that walk around,  
blue like my corvette, it's standing outside.  
blue are the words i say and what i think.  
blue are the feelings that live inside me.

i'm blue da ba dee da ba die...

i have a blue house with a blue window.  
blue is the colour of all that i wear.  
blue are the streets and all the trees are blue.  
i have a girlfriend and she is so blue.  
blue are the people here that walk around,  
blue like my corvette, it's standing outside.  
blue are the words i say and what i think.  
blue are the feelings that live inside me.

i'm blue da ba dee da ba die...

inside and outside blue his house  
with the blue little window and blue corvette  
and everything is blue for him and hisself  
and everybody around cause he aint got  
nobody to listen to

i'm blue da ba dee da ba die...

I'm blue (if I was green I would die)" Kisame sang

"Did tobi do good?" Tobi asked

"Yeah, this time around." Kisame said

"So who's next?" Pien asked

"I'll go, just so I don't have to be forced to." Deidara said getting up


	4. Chapter 4: Deidara

A/n:I don't own anything

"Can I pick yours too Deidara Senpie?" Tobi asked as Lilly came into the room

"Yeah, But if it offends me You're dead meat." Deidara said

"Deidara this is suppose to be fun, and if it helps I'll help him find a song for you." Lilly said

"Eh...Fine. I know I can trust you Lilly." He said with a grin

"Alright, Tobi c'mon lets find the perfect song for Deidara." She said with a smile

"Okay!" Tobi said going over next to her.

Once they found the perfect song Lilly played it with a smirk

"Left, right, step up to the spot light  
Why you actin uptight? Takin you to school (that's right)  
High, low, don't tell me you don't know how to ever let go  
Takin you to school (that's right)

Tonight we burn it all  
Get high, get tall  
Yeah we're lighter than air  
You got the key to your release  
So pop that lock until you're lighter than air

If you wanna be it  
You've got to dream  
If you got the key then baby, pop that lock  
If you wanna free it  
You have got to scream  
If you got the key then baby, pop that lock  
Banshee Boys and Dancey Girls get down down down

Work bitch, you don't got to stress this  
Got em feelin restless, show em how it's done (alright)  
Secret, don't care if you don't keep it.  
Don't care if you leak it, show em how it's done (alright)

Tonight we burn it all  
Get high, get tall  
Yeah we're lighter than air  
You got the key to your release  
So pop that lock until you're lighter than air

If you wanna be it  
You've got to dream  
If you got the key then baby, pop that lock  
If you wanna free it  
You have got to scream  
If you got the key then baby, pop that lock  
Banshee Boys and Dancey Girls get down down down  
Get down  
Get down

Work [x3] alright get down  
Work [x3] alright get down

Yeah! Ay yeah yeah!

Banshee Boys and Dancey Girls get down down down  
You better pop that lock!

If you wanna be it  
You've got to dream  
If you got the key then baby pop that lock  
If you wanna free it  
You have got to scream  
If you got the key then baby pop that lock  
Get downn yeah!  
Baby pop that lock, get down!  
Get down  
Pop that lock, get down!"Deidara sang as he walked towards Lilly singing part of it to her before going behind her for a bit, then going beside her

Lilly clapped her hands before she kissed his cheek.

"Bravo Deidara." She said with a grin

"Did we do good Deidara?" Tobi asked

"For once, yes...I don't have to kill you this time around." Deidara said looking to him

"Well he wanted to have you sing 'dude looks like a lady' but I knew that would piss you off so I picked that song for ya." Lilly said with a wink.

"So who's next?" Pien asked

"How about you Sasori my man?" Deidara said

"I guess I can go. But this is utterly stupid." Sasori said getting up

"Stop being such a grumpy gills. This is just for fun...Plus when was the last time you ever had fun?"Lilly said poking at his shoulder


	5. Chapter 5: Sasori

"I guess I can go. But this is utterly stupid." Sasori said getting up

"Stop being such a grumpy gills. This is just for fun...Plus when was the last time you ever had fun?"Lilly said poking at his shoulder

Sasori smacked her hand away from his shoulder glaring at her.

"You need to learn respect Lilly, or you'll die some time soon." He said angered

"Whatever...but since you are being totally rude, I don't give a shit what tobi picks for you." Lilly said before she left the room

Tobi picked what he wanted Sasori to sing before Deidara gave him the microphone.

"Gonna get this party started

It's all around me,  
And I can't wish this away,  
You so amaze me,  
You took my monster away, [x2]

Wake me, c'mon and wake me up now I  
Want to cut off my strings and break,  
Loose of your control of me,  
Cut your strings and be free with me, [x2]

[bridge]  
Everybody, shake your body,  
Lift your hands, stop frontin',  
You're just a puppet, [x2]

To all the marionettes

(chorus)  
If your gonna run, how fast ya gonna run?,  
And If your gonna jump, how high can you jump?,  
All you perpetrators be walkin' round frontin',  
What?, you fakers afraid to stand for somethin'?  
If you're gonna run, how fast ya gonna run?  
And if you're gonna jump, how high ya gonna jump?  
All the perpetrators be walkin' round frontin'  
Why don't you stand up and break me off somethin'?  
[x2]

Ya wanna make it outta sight?,  
Somebody wanna get live tonight?,  
We can hit that, flip that, settle the score,  
'n' ain't nobody rock a crowd like this before,  
Ya wanna make it outta sight?,  
Somebody wanna get live tonight?,  
Like an earthquake, let it shake,  
Make the floor vibrate, Krutch y'all,  
Back to set the record straight.

All y'all people, listen, it's on,  
Krutch marauders we on a mission,  
Hittin' ya with the ill ammunition,  
At war with the puppet master, ..  
I'll bring it on if I had to,  
Rip it 'n' leave the whole scene shattered,  
Like, chik, blaow!, what ya think of me now,  
I'm lettin' my dawgs out,  
Makin' it loud so hear me shout, what?,  
We be comin' laced with bass,  
Hit the place with no trace,  
When we rock the space,

[bridge]

To all the people still sleepin'

[Chorus (x2)]" Sasori sang

"Well that wasn't too bad, but did you have to be so mean on Lilly?" Deidara asked

"You know how I feel about her critizing me." Sasori said before he sat down again.

Deidara placed his hands up before he sighed, "Fine, but maybe you should just apologize to her?"

"Not a chance, she deserves a good waking up." Sasori said

"Enough of that, you two can fight another day, who will go next?" Pien asked

"I'll go, it doesn't seem like anyone else will." Hidan said getting up

"Very well then." Pien said


	6. Chapter 6: Hidan

A/n:I don't own anything

Hidan looked to Tobi seriously.

"You better pick something good or I'll sacrifice you to Jashin." He said with a glare

"Got it Hidan!" Tobi said as he went through the songs and placed one on that he thought Hidan might like.

The music starts and Hidan Smirks before he picks up the microphone and begins to sing

"Something takes a part of me  
Something lost and never seen  
Every time I start to believe  
Something's raped and taken from me, from me

Life's kinda always been messing with me  
[You wanna see the light?]  
Can't they chill and let me be free?  
]So do I]  
Can't I take away all this pain?  
[You wanna see the light?]  
I try to every night, all in vain, in vain

Sometimes I cannot take this place  
Sometimes it's my life I can't taste  
Sometimes I cannot feel my face  
You'll never see me fall from grace

Something takes a part of me  
You and I were meant to be  
A cheap fuck for me to lay  
Something takes a part of me

Feeling like a freak on a leash  
[You wanna see the light?]  
Feeling like I have no release  
[So do I]  
How many times have I felt diseased?  
[You wanna see the light?]  
Nothing in my life is free, is free

Sometimes I cannot take this place  
Sometimes it's my life I can't taste  
Sometimes I cannot feel my face  
You'll never see me fall from grace

Something takes a part of me  
You and I were meant to be  
A cheap fuck for me to lay  
Something takes a part of me

Something takes a part of me  
You and I were meant to be  
A cheap fuck for me to lay  
Something takes a part of me  
Part of me, part of me  
Part of me" He sings before they see that Lilly comes back torn up a bit

"Damn what the hell happened to you woman?" Hidan asked

"Don't worry about me you Religous ass, I just need to..." She said before she collapsed

deidara got up quickly befoe she fell to the ground and caught her in his hands.

"Damn it, I told her not to over do it!" Deidara said with a sigh

"Well take her to her room and come back, I don't want anyone to harm her when she's in that state." Pien said

"Yes, sir." Deidara said before he left


	7. Chapter 7: Kakuzu

As Deidara did what he had to Kakuzu got up and he took the Microphone from Hidan.

"My turn." Kakuzu said dully

"Can Tobi pick a song for you?" Tobi asked going up to Kakuzu

"Whatever."

Tobi cheered and he picked a song for him.

"'m over it  
You see I'm falling in the vast abyss  
Clouded by memories of the past  
At last, I see

I hear it fading  
I can't speak it  
Or else you will dig my grave  
We fear them finding  
Always whining  
Take my hand now  
Be alive

You see I cannot be forsaken  
Because I'm not the only one  
We walk amongst you  
Feeding, raping  
Must we hide from everyone

I'm over it  
Why can't we be together  
Embrace it  
Sleeping so long  
Taking off the mask  
At last, I see

My fear is fading  
I can't speak it  
Or else you will dig my grave  
We fear them finding  
Always whining  
Take my hand now  
Be alive

You see I cannot be forsaken  
Because I'm not the only one  
We walk amongst you  
Feeding, raping  
Must we hide from everyone

You see I cannot be forsaken  
Because I'm not the only one  
We walk amongst you  
Feeding, raping  
Must we hide from everyone

Everyone  
Everyone  
Everyone [fading out]" He sang

Once the song was over with he patted Tobi's head and smiled.

"You actually picked a good song Tobi, I think your getting a hang of picking everyone's song."

"Tobi is a good boy!" He said with a smile

Kakuzu sat down as Nagato stood up.

"Since everyone has just about gone, I'll go then those who are left can go." He said


	8. Chapter 8: NagatoPain

A/n:I don't own anything

When nagato goes up he looks to Tobi.

"Find a good song." He said

"Yes Leader!" Tobi said with a smile

Once he found the perfect song he Everyone cracks up.

"Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review.  
No problem.  
So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?  
Absolutely, I'm the boss.  
Well, so take us through a day in the life of, "The Boss".  
Well the first thing I do is-

Talk to corporate (like a boss)  
Approve memos (like a boss)  
Read a workshop (like a boss)  
Remember birthdays (like a boss)  
Direct work-flow (like a boss)  
My own bathroom (like a boss)  
Micro-manage (like a boss)  
Promote synergy (like a boss)

Hit on Deborah (like a boss)  
Get rejected (like a boss)  
Swallow sadness (like a boss)  
Send some faxes (like a boss)  
Call a sex line (like a boss)  
Cry deeply (like a boss)  
Demand a refund (like a boss)  
Eat a bagel (like a boss)

Harassment Lawsuit (like a boss)  
No Promotion (like a boss)  
5th of vodka (like a boss)  
Shit on Deborah's desk (like a boss)  
Buy a gun (like a boss)  
In my mouth (like a boss)  
Oh fuck man, I can't fucking do it, shit!

Pussy out (like a boss)  
Puke on Deborah's desk (like a boss)  
Jump out the windows (like a boss)  
Suck a dude's dick (like a boss)  
Score some coke (like a boss)  
Crash my car (like a boss)  
Suck my own dick (like a boss)  
Eat some chicken strips (like a boss)

Chop my balls off (like a boss)  
Black out in the sewer (like a boss)  
Meet a giant fish (like a boss)  
Fuck his brains out (like a boss)  
Turn into a jet (like a boss)  
Bomb the Russians (like a boss)  
Crash into the Sun (like a boss)  
Now I'm dead (like a boss)

Uh huh. So that's an... average day for you then.  
No doubt.  
You chopped your balls off and died.  
Hell yeah.  
And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick?  
Nope.  
Actually, I'm pretty sure you did.  
Nah, that ain't me.  
OK, well this has been eye-opening for me.  
I'm the boss.  
Ya, I know, I got that. You said it about 400 times.  
I'm the boss.  
Ya, ya, I got it.  
I'm the boss.  
No, I heard you, see you later!  
(like a boss)" He sang before he just sat down ignoring the laughs.

Then Konan got up and she told Tobi to sit down because she had the perfect song she was going to sing.


	9. Chapter 9: Konan

A/n: i don't own anything

Konan found the Cd and she placed it in as she smiled as the music played Tobi hid behind the couch as a few people felt creeped out by the song that she chose.

"Long lost words whisper slowly to me  
Still can't find what keeps me here  
When all this time I've been so hollow inside  
I know you're still there

Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Fearing you, loving you  
I won't let you pull me down

Hunting you, I can smell you - alive  
Your heart pounding in my head

Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Saving me, raping me, watching me

Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Fearing you... loving you  
I won't let you pull me down" Konan sang sweetly

Once she was done singing it was totally silent until she heard someone clapping, she looked to see Lilly up.

"It seems you creeped many of the guys out with that song, but it suits you well Konan." She said leaning against the wall

"Are you feeling okay?" Konan asked

"yes, I just passed out from using too much chakra...that's all." She said with a grin

"Good to hear."

"Can tobi go next?" Tobi asked from behind the couch

"sure, if you want to." Konan said with a smile


	10. Chapter 10: Tobi

A/n: I own nothing...Which sucks because I want tobi to die and sasgay too .

Tobi jumped from behind the couch to the Cd's and he giggled as he got a cd out and placed it in. He gave a Microphone to Deidara and he whispered something to him. He nodded his head and stayed put in his seat.

"Aah, an afternoon alone with  
My favorite book, "Broadway  
Musicals of the 1940s."  
No roommate to bother me.  
How could it get any better than this?

Oh,hi Rod!

Hi Nicky.

Hey Rod, you'll never  
Guess what happened to  
Me on the subway this morning.  
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me[Shows a picture of Orichimaru]

That's very interesting.

He was being real friendly,  
And I think he was coming on to me.  
I think he might've thought I was gay!

Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?  
Why should I care?  
I don't care.  
What did you have for lunch today?

Oh, you don't have to get  
All defensive about it, Rod...

I'm NOT getting defensive!  
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?  
I'm trying to read.

Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod.  
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.

I don't want to talk about it,  
Nicky! This conversation is over!

Yeah, but...

OVER!

Well, okay, but just so you know —  
IF YOU WERE GAY  
THAT'D BE OKAY.  
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,  
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.  
BECAUSE YOU SEE,  
IF IT WERE ME,  
I WOULD FEEL FREE  
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)

Nicky, please!  
I am trying to read...  
What?!

IF YOU WERE QUEER

Ah, Nicky!

I'D STILL BE HERE,

Nicky, I'm trying to read this book.

YEAR AFTER YEAR

Nicky!

BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR  
TO ME,

Argh!

AND I KNOW THAT YOU

What?

WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,

I would?

IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,  
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,  
I'M GAY!"  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)  
I'M HAPPY  
JUST BEING WITH YOU.

High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...

SO WHAT SHOULD IT  
MATTER TO ME  
WHAT YOU DO IN BED  
WITH GUYS?

Nicky, that's GROSS!

No it's not!  
IF YOU WERE GAY  
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!

I am not listening!

AND HERE I'D STAY,

La la la la la!

BUT I WOULDN'T GET  
IN YOUR WAY.

Aaaah!

YOU CAN COUNT ON ME  
TO ALWAYS BE  
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,  
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,  
YOU WERE JUST BORN  
THAT WAY,  
AND, AS THEY SAY,  
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,  
YOU'RE GAY!

BUT I'M NOT GAY!

If you were gay.

Argh!"Deidara said and Tobi sang

After that Deidara went up to Tobi and kicked him in the stomach making him fly to the wall making a crack in it.

"That's what you get for making me be part of a song that is idiotic! I'm not gay if you didn't notice I'm with lilly and last I knew she was 110% female!" Deidara said angered

"At least you know that now." Lilly said crossing her arms

He looked to her sadly. "...I'm sorry."

"Whatever." She said rolling her eyes

"My turn." Zetsu said from the far corner


End file.
